Tag Archives: tears

Curiosity

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Memories.

Playing in my grandparents old farmhouse.

Looking outside through the window.

“Do not play at the window child. Do not touch

The stick holding the window open. Go outside”

Curiosity always ruled me.

Itchy fingers and dreamy mind wondering what could happen this time.

So closer I moved.

What is this mighty stick doing I may not touch?

Holding up the heavy window frame I realized to late

As it slammed down unapologetically on my my little hand.

Tears stinging my eyes to my surprise.

Swollen and bruised hand now but

“That’s what you get when you do not listen child. Now go outside and play.

Stay on the grass. Do not leave the yard.”

I would proceed to play barefoot and roam the boundaries I was told not to go.

Skin now pierced by prickly burs. Tears again.

“If we told you once, we told you twice. Now child why don’t you listen.”

Once more I wander places I ought not go. Family visiting outside stop to hear my cry.

Me confronted.

A large snake poised up to meet my eyes. I stood frozen.

“Don’t move a muscle!”

And they interfere with my curiosity. I am safe now in big sisters arms.

” Why don’t you listen child? There is danger and boundaries you mustn’t cross. We know better as we have lived longer.”

I did not understand their language it seems.

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She Asks For Nothing

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She asks how you are doing.

You have a short 

Conversation,

The whole time

Her heart screaming inside her

Chest,

“I am so lonely.

So goddamn lonely.”

Her brain holding the dam straight and strong against

The welling of tears.

And she laughs.

She hugs you

A little longer than you feel comfortable so

You let go

And 

“Let’s catch up soon”

And she glances to the ocean.

The ocean who is always calling.

And she thinks how much she longs to go to her.

“The ocean will hold me as long as I need

And stroke my tangled hair.”

She asks for nothing

In return.

“And i do not need to speak.

I walk on to where i need to go

Leaving the ocean for

Now.

She waits for my return.”

Her heart beating morse code,

Begging,

Wait for me. Wait for me.

Standing Tall

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Pushing.
Pulling.
Laughing while
Drowning.
Reaching.
Withdrawing.
Smiling more
Than necessary.
Heaven forbid someone
Asks…….
Turmoil.
Twisting and turning.
Nauseous belly.
Quickly glance away.
Everything’s alright;
Could be worse.
Getting back up hoping
Nobody sees
Bloody knees,
Tear stained wrists.
The people keep moving.
The world keeps rotating.
Noises never cease.
Spinning.
Falling.
Standing tall is all people
Prefer to see.

just keep smiling