Tag Archives: shadows

Despair

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Oh despair

Why do you visit me?

I know you are coming

Yet

Still unexpected.

I feel your devious intentions,

Creeping in the shadows.

Arriving uninvited to

Spite me.

Mocking laughter in satisfaction,

Scratching at my door

In my finest hour

To

Coat my vision in

Black

And cloud

My path;

Nip at my heels

As i try to evade your touch.

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Unending

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You will dream of me

Until your end.

And then on misty moor;

Through shadows gloom

Will you continue to roam.

Evermore

Forsaking your eternal home.

Your longing unending.

Arms always empty

In your shapeless form.

Not long enough

Did you hold me while your heart

Was still warm.

Choleintodiamonds

Originally posted January 2016

Battle

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The battle is real

Should i have a glass of wine

Or

Climb in the closet, shut the door and

Sit in the dark?

Teetering on the edge

Of laughter and screams.

Rocking to and fro.

I must remember why i

Am here.
I love so deep

But do not think i am so

Fragile.

My jaw has met fist amongst other things.

Shadows call even though there be

Light

And friendly faces on the street.

Apathy Creeping at my feet.

Once again I retreat from

The invisible forces.
Battling

Battling

With those formless thought shifters.

“Go away!” I say as my worth is not in

Their ungrateful hands.

I write truth on the wall.

I must remember why i am here.
I close my eyes once more and am

Taken to the red dirt

Where I kneel.

Home feels so far but there

It is in my heart. My heart.

How could I forget. Wallowing

In my fears.

I know why i am here.
I let them

Get in my head. I let them twist my mind.

Deplorable thoughts have no control.

Thoughts cannot condemn my soul.

I know why i am here.

Do i?

Despair

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He (she too) knows he is called strange
And beautiful in the same breath.

His (her) delight in life contagious

But then

Given time

And the right mix of elements

He (she does) crashes

And no words nor touch

Can reach him.

Blinded and numb.

He regresses.

He recoils.

(She turns within)

For no one can save him and he knows this.

They do not fathom the depths

Of despair.

(She knows)

He can hold his breath longer

For he knows at the surface

The darkness waits unbidden.

It always waits

Unbidden and unseen by others.

(They do not see it

They do not feel it)

And they lose patience

Going on their way

To fill their own void for they cannot hold their

breath any longer.

(She is still there)

And he resurfaces.

Returns from the untime

To be aware.

Skin tender, jaw tight

Legs jelly

And goes on.

Invites others from empty tables to join him.

Holds others when their arms are too full

And smiles

Because he is thankful they have not swam so

deep into the darkness as he.

(He sees remnants of shadows on her eyes)

Momma Said

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Momma said she quit

And a thousand times

I smelled it sleeping on her breath.

Lies. Secrets. Whispers.

Deals in the shadows.

Cop cars and knives.

Mixed in the coke can,

I’d take a sip and choke.

Swallowed with pills.

Bottles

Almost empty.

Tucked behind the bed.

Hidden in drawers and shelves.

She thought she had me fooled

But then she’d forget.

I Knew Him

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I knew him then.

The boy.

The child.

I knew him when the sun played on his shoulders.

When a glance at the clouds above would set him free.

When nothing could stop him from

Dancing

Or

Smiling.

It is as if another lifetime now.

I do not know what happened out there in the world.

I do not know who stole

Delight from his veins.

But I do know

Whoever

Stole it,

They did not take it all.

For

I see it in his shadow.