Tag Archives: dark

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I was taught to

Swallow my tears.

Keep them within,

Becoming bloated with grief.

My blood saturated with salt

Until

Solidified

Heart so heavy

And lungs drowned with self inflicted water,

I could no longer stand.

I could not absorb oxygen needed to keep warm nor fully breathe,

Could not pump blood through my own veins to live.

Not knowing that to cry was such strength

For those surrounding me

Saw it,

Claimed it as

Victory;

A winning of some kind to break another more than yourself.

I still cry in the dark.

I never said I was perfect.

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One of Them

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You locked me in a room

Then turned off the circuit breakers leaving me

Alone in the dark.

You knew I was terrified of ghosts,

Turning up the music to drown out my cries.

Telling me the demons were waiting to

Devour me whole;

To take my soul.

You did not know that they would

Turn and take care of me.

You did not know my Warrior Ancestors were there and would teach me

That love is the spark within that never

Yields.

I was not alone.

I learned to dance with my Ancestors and our

Beauty created an indistinguishable fire

Within.

I learned a timeless courage

And smiled at the challenge you created.

Thank you.

For without you

I would have never experienced

All this firsthand.

People would have spoke of these things and I would

Have dismissed them as crazy.

Now I am one of them.

Battle

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The battle is real

Should i have a glass of wine

Or

Climb in the closet, shut the door and

Sit in the dark?

Teetering on the edge

Of laughter and screams.

Rocking to and fro.

I must remember why i

Am here.
I love so deep

But do not think i am so

Fragile.

My jaw has met fist amongst other things.

Shadows call even though there be

Light

And friendly faces on the street.

Apathy Creeping at my feet.

Once again I retreat from

The invisible forces.
Battling

Battling

With those formless thought shifters.

“Go away!” I say as my worth is not in

Their ungrateful hands.

I write truth on the wall.

I must remember why i am here.
I close my eyes once more and am

Taken to the red dirt

Where I kneel.

Home feels so far but there

It is in my heart. My heart.

How could I forget. Wallowing

In my fears.

I know why i am here.
I let them

Get in my head. I let them twist my mind.

Deplorable thoughts have no control.

Thoughts cannot condemn my soul.

I know why i am here.

Do i?

Despair

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He (she too) knows he is called strange
And beautiful in the same breath.

His (her) delight in life contagious

But then

Given time

And the right mix of elements

He (she does) crashes

And no words nor touch

Can reach him.

Blinded and numb.

He regresses.

He recoils.

(She turns within)

For no one can save him and he knows this.

They do not fathom the depths

Of despair.

(She knows)

He can hold his breath longer

For he knows at the surface

The darkness waits unbidden.

It always waits

Unbidden and unseen by others.

(They do not see it

They do not feel it)

And they lose patience

Going on their way

To fill their own void for they cannot hold their

breath any longer.

(She is still there)

And he resurfaces.

Returns from the untime

To be aware.

Skin tender, jaw tight

Legs jelly

And goes on.

Invites others from empty tables to join him.

Holds others when their arms are too full

And smiles

Because he is thankful they have not swam so

deep into the darkness as he.

(He sees remnants of shadows on her eyes)

Old Piano

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Once this old piano knew happy days

For music brings joy

And passion.

Cobwebs and dust have settled on the keys.

Broken strings and rust sleep well

In dark places.

Notes forgotten

For it cannot play itself

Back to

Music.

Yearning for the feel of

Warm fingers upon

The ivory;

For harmonious voices to join in

All its melodic glory;

For bodies full of life and love to glide and swing as one.

Silence plays

Alone.

Time does not forget,

People do.