Monthly Archives: April 2018



He is this mirage in the distance

Created by heat

And angles.

The closer i get,

The further away he goes.



I walked on


I watched the

Eagles fly.

I hear the whoosh of the air

On their wings as they glide overhead.

The higher they go

The stronger my heartbeat.

And I heard the brush rustle


Turning just in time

To see 3 deer leaping into my path.

Alert and tentative.

For a moment I expect to see a predator on their heels.

But no.

And we gaze into each others eyes for what seems like time indefinite .

And i feel that whole lifetime of anxiety leave my bones.

Stillness fills my cells.

My mind clears and my heart swells.

Peace. I am as i am meant to be.

I find myself by the river where I immerse myself in nature’s song.

I become the water and the stones who mean

Each other no harm.

They merely add to the symphony.

As do I;

I know.

This is true.



I believe i am well

Then i get this twisted gut

And this crooked eye

And they both dig into me deep

Dredging and pulling

Till they find something to ridicule


And pointing


And they dance with joy

As i swing and miss

Then retreat



Under reality

Into the depths of my mind

Where there is shelter

And silence


Not oxygen.

Perpetual space.




Playing in my grandparents old farmhouse.

Looking outside through the window.

“Do not play at the window child. Do not touch

The stick holding the window open. Go outside”

Curiosity always ruled me.

Itchy fingers and dreamy mind wondering what could happen this time.

So closer I moved.

What is this mighty stick doing I may not touch?

Holding up the heavy window frame I realized to late

As it slammed down unapologetically on my my little hand.

Tears stinging my eyes to my surprise.

Swollen and bruised hand now but

“That’s what you get when you do not listen child. Now go outside and play.

Stay on the grass. Do not leave the yard.”

I would proceed to play barefoot and roam the boundaries I was told not to go.

Skin now pierced by prickly burs. Tears again.

“If we told you once, we told you twice. Now child why don’t you listen.”

Once more I wander places I ought not go. Family visiting outside stop to hear my cry.

Me confronted.

A large snake poised up to meet my eyes. I stood frozen.

“Don’t move a muscle!”

And they interfere with my curiosity. I am safe now in big sisters arms.

” Why don’t you listen child? There is danger and boundaries you mustn’t cross. We know better as we have lived longer.”

I did not understand their language it seems.



Be mindful

Those generational ghosts you bring forward;

Those in your own heart and mind which no Longer


We are teaching children to fear them.

We are born fearless.

We are born fresh and

We are born free of past regrets.

Do not dump your unhealed bits on them, the Children.

Lessons abound from the past. Still, let us refrain from planting our pain in the child’s heart.