I wake
With the weight of
Time upon my chest.
I sit up startled by thunder and darkened sky.
Trembling, crying.
Trying to shake off these disturbing feelings
Left
In my skin.
My thoughts in chaos.
Something I remember, but forgotten.
Residual yearnings in my heart
Left whispering gibberish.
It was just a dream, right?
Swinging.
The chain link creaking above me with each
Motion.
So smooth the air on my face.
I close my eyes and feel as if i am flying.
I try to touch the clouds,
My heart leaping
With each push of my legs to go
Higher.
I giggle out loud as my tummy
Tumbles and dances and
Pleads for more.
What a heavenly feeling of which
I never tire.
Yes I will write of the seasons.
Winter,
Summer,
Spring
And Fall
For I have lived through them all.
None being the same,
Nor do I expect them to ever.
For if they are indistinguishable
I believe it would mean I have died
And gone to hell.
Have you ever wandered city streets all night
To watch them go to sleep as darkness creeps
In cobblestone cracks
And shadows fall on windowsills?
Have you heard the silence between light and
Dark
Or stood still enough to see secret dark doorways
Open.
Have you
Felt
The stretch,
The yawn of
Life stirring once again?
Or witnessed
The sinewy fingers of dawns rising;
Light
Reaching into
The sleepy fractures
Of hearts dreaming?
I run my fingers ever so slowly over
Each groove in
The bark.
Oak tree standing wise,
So strong.
I swear I feel
Sights seen.
Love and loss witnessed.
I hear the limbs
Moan and shake
In the endless embrace of
The wind.
They whisper to me
As I lean in closer,
“Time tells all my love.”
Once a week in elementary school
The art teacher
Would bring her cart into the classroom.
On a particular art lesson
She painted an example of a clown
Smiling. Colorful.
Reds and whites and blues.
In turn we were told to paint our own.
I sat and stared at my paint and paper
While the other kids started.
I was always so unsure of myself, overthinking.
I looked around at my classmates
Paintings.
They were all copying the art teachers example.
I remember thinking it was strange,
All the same.
So i proceeded to paint
With
Black, blue and gray,
A frowning clown with a dead flower in
His hat.
( looking back now, I laugh))
Mine clashed with the rest.
And they were all placed on display in the hallway all bright, except one looking quite out of sorts.
A sad sorry clown surrounded
By
Bright and happy ones.
The school contacted my parents and
Thought perhaps they should seek counseling for me.
Soul on soul.
Becoming together.
Heated touch upon skin.
We move nearer, into one
Another.
In limbo no longer,
We collide.
We have been here eternally.
Lifetimes ago.
I was going mad waiting for you.
We carried an insanity in our minds
Until we realized,
Until we recognized the
Soulshine reflected in our eyes.
A familiarity known.
Each petal
Creates the beauty
Of the
Flower.
Many years have passed
Yet
Quarrels
Remain the same.
I have learned to allow myself,
On days when I am
Empty,
To simply live.
